Hot fall fashion tip: wear everything you own at the same time.
- Drinking the glucose test drink first thing this morning on an empty stomach.
+ Delicious breakfast sammy from Chicago Bagel Authority post- test.
- Having to have a second blood draw after the tech forgot she needed another vial for the CBC.
+ Comparing CBC numbers with my dad - his hemoglobin is now better than mine! Yay parental health.
- Getting pulled over by a dick cop and getting a lecture about how “speeding while pregnant will hurt or maybe even kill your baby.” I was going 45 in a 35.
+ Putting on an Oscar-worthy performance of tears.
- Getting a speeding ticket and ticket for no proof of insurance (card does a LOT of good in M’s wallet) despite said performance.
+ Passing the glucose test! Cookies for lunch! Pasta for dinner! Carbs til the wheels fall off!
vince scuba sweater, $465
The pregnant anons are out in full force today!
These are complicated questions with no easy answers. Being a mom sounds hard, and doing that job on top of my current job sometimes seems impossible.
I don’t necessarily plan on scaling back, per se, but I do fully intend to restructure my time. This is going to mean some serious discipline when it comes to time management - not always my strong suit. I’ll need to prioritize my team stuff for during the workdays so I can start leaving earlier, and spend evenings finishing solo tasks after the baby goes down. Work on the train instead of staring off into space. Take some time on the weekends to knock several smaller tasks off my to-do list. That kind of thing.
Is my boss supportive? In general, yes. I’ve known him for about 10 years, and I’ve worked directly for him for almost 8, so we have a great working relationship and I feel like I can be candid with him. We’ve talked a lot about what will happen when I come back to work, and he is working with some of the other higher ups to get some things in place to make it easier for me to work more flexibly and productively. That said, he certainly hasn’t been taking it easy on me during my pregnancy. He relies on me for a ton, has really high expectations, and I think he is still in denial that I’ll be taking a hiatus. I joke with him that he is going through the stages of grief and that if he’s going to be stuck in denial, he’ll never get to the anger stage where he can openly be an asshole to me.
As for childcare, we have a spot secured at a great place about two blocks from M’s office. We are still looking at possibly going the nanny route, at least for the first year, but that is still to be determined.
I have no illusions that going back to work is going to be easy, but so far I’ve found that having honest, frank discussions with the boss about expectations (on both sides) has made things go a lot more smoothly.
Also, if I can get on the Marissa Mayer conference call manicure plan, that would be super.
Congrats! How exciting!
Unsolicited advice for the earliest weeks? Stay the hell off the internet, you will only worry about every. single. thing. Take care of yourself. Sleep a lot - the first trimester fatigue does not fuck around. Don’t worry about whether people can tell you are pregnant (your little bitty bloat that you think is enormous and obvious is not even noticeable to other people). Wear all your fitted regular clothes. Get really good at fake drinking. Eat a giant turkey sandwich or sushi before your first doctor’s appointment and they tell you that you shouldn’t (my doc is really liberal with that stuff, but many aren’t). Invest in a maternity pillow (I love my snoogle) before you actually need it.
As for your question, I found most books and websites to not be very helpful (looking at you, What To Expect While You’re Expecting). Websites are good for getting information on a specific question, but not much else. Although, I will say that if you want to feel better about yourself, particularly if you’re feeling a bit crazy from the hormones, perusing the Babycenter boards are a good self esteem booster and highly entertaining.
The books I’ve found to be useful are:
Expecting Better. Along the turkey sandwich/sushi lines, this book breaks down the relative risk factors for all those pregnancy “rules” you hear so much about, and the author encourages moms-to-be to weigh those risk factors against the potential consequences and their personal needs. For example, the risk of listeria from lunch meat is actually really low (the last significant outbreaks were from cantaloupe, peaches and hummus, but you don’t hear of doctors telling you not to eat fruit), but the consequences can be really bad. She just provides the information, and leaves it to you to decide for yourself, without the sanctimommy judgment.
Baby 411. Newborns For Dummies. If you’re a first time mom (and I’m guessing you are since you want to read books), this provides a really good overview of how babies work.
Baby Bargains. The authors rate every piece of equipment ever invented for babies - an all-inclusive Consumer Reports type thing. The amount of shit babies need is crazy, and the amount of options in each category is even crazier. It was nice to have the research for everything in one book for registering.
Mayo Guide To Pregnancy. Clinical, but moderately useful. Nothing you can’t look up online, but a friend gave this book to me.
Happiest Baby On The Block. M read this first, and described the technique as “So, you wrap the baby up super tight, grab it by its head, shake it and shush as loud as you can in its face.” The actual technique is a tamer version that will NOT get Child Protective Services called on you, but the gist is what he described. Friends have sworn by it. Apparently, there is also a video on You Tube that you can watch if you don’t want to read/buy the book.
Hope that helps! All my best for a healthy & happy 40 weeks!
Any veteran moms want to chime in?
Well, the 2nd trimester flew by, and all of a sudden here we are…3rd trimester…the home stretch.
It’s finally starting to hit me that in less than three months (80 days, to be exact), we are going to be parents. I’ve had a very easy pregnancy physically, I didn’t feel regular movements until just a few weeks ago, and after everything we went through, I think I was also very emotionally guarded. For much of my pregnancy, the baby has felt more like a concept, something that is going to happen eventually at some time in the future, that room we are decorating is just for fun, the tiny clothes hung for a tiny visitor who may or may not pop in, the bi-monthly doctor visits just more of the same. Just in the last couple of weeks has the baby become active, the kicks palpable, the bump truly bumpish, the penguin-like walk established, the bladder squishing and pelvic aching real. I finally feel pregnant, and this baby finally feels like ours.
Things like getting stuck at the office until 9:30 on a Friday have been the source of much anxiety and some sleepless nights. I find myself wondering how the hell I am going to do this. Is it possible to have a career, one that is most definitely not a 9-5 gig, AND be a good mom? I’d like to think so, but I worry. Am I going to have enough time with my kid? Enough meaningful time? How are we going to keep up with work obligations and the house and mundane life tasks like lawn care and dry cleaning pickup? I mean, my husband is just one person and he’s got his own career. We are already squeezing every minute out of every day. How do people make this work without an army of people run their personal life? Marissa Mayer I am not. It’s easy to talk about shit like leaning in when you have a personal manicurist to come do your nails while you’re on a conference call.
The more research I do on the birth and postpartum processes I do, the more terrified I become.
Names. That’s a lot of pressure. I don’t want to set this kid up for a life of failure or mocking or a horrible nickname. I mean, it’s not like we can change our mind later if it doesn’t seem to work out.
On a less anxiety-ridden note, some of the clothes we have gotten are so teeny tiny that I can’t even believe a person will fit in them. It’s kind of the cutest.
The other day I pushed a protruding baby foot back down into my belly, causing the peanut to roll over and kick me as hard as it could. It was simultaneously the coolest and creepiest thing ever.
80 days to go. In between the fears and anxieties and feeling like someone is pulling me apart like a wishbone, I am overwhelmed. Overwhelmed that two will soon be three, at how loved this kid will be, at who he/she will be, at how much I am looking forward to finally meeting him/her.
Things are starting to get real real.
A crib in the nursery | A shower invite in the mail.
Got home from work at 10pm, requested pizza. Fortunately, M didn’t fuck up my burned cheese crust this time.
Dying at this Eater graphic because ain’t it the truth?
Really, J. Crew, we’re bringing back soccer sandals/shower shoes? “With socks?”I can basically hear this page singing Cup of Life to me.
My One true love.
You know it’s been a ROUGH week when a NA beer is satisfying.
Asking for a friend.